Response to Michael Goldberg's email 3/8/06: March 8, 2006 (over two years since February 19, 2004) I am ecstatic that GW has not taken away my email address for the sole reason of receiving your email. Additionally, I am also honored to be added to your website. The honor is mine, Michael. After finding your website and my contribution to it, I was glad to be in company of The Loyola Phoenix and Ryan Conner's Blog. Though, I don't know if you read The Loyola Phoenix's complete review of your comedic talents (here is the website if you need it), but I think they were telling you that you weren't that good. I am quite aware of what the Phoenix thinks of me. Obviously (given your inclusion) this is not a page of accolades so much as self-interest comments. The Phoenix liked Josh Cheney ("This past Friday, comedian Josh Cheney hosted the show and began with his own short segment of stand-up, which encompassed a variety of topics, including, believe it or not, a science experiment testing Newton's law of gravity by rolling up the two segments of his tie. The pun? 'It's a tie!'") and raved about Sean Flannery ("Sean Flannery, whose material covered everything from the good old days of playing Oregon Trail to the population of Taco Bell after midnight, kept the audience enthralled and laughing throughout his entire segment"). However, they said this about you: "David Angelo was the second comedian to entertain the audience that night. His kind of random, awkward humor involved long pauses and repetitions of the same joke with different punchlines, which for some audience members, was hilarious." Now, you must have read that because it is on your website, but that begs the question of if you understood it. I think they were putting a positive spin on a performance that got few laughs on a lame repetition of lackluster jokes. But, I could be wrong; Actually, you are wrong. I did very well that night. The Loyola critic might not have been that amused, but even he acknowledged that I was "hilarious." so I emailed the author of the article. I believe his exact words were: "David Angelo was a weak spot in the show." Call the Phoenix Diversions Staff at (773) 508-7114 or email them at phoenixdiversions@luc.edu if you want to hear it yourself. Are you pathological or something? (side note: if you emailed him, why not include the actual quote?) Ryan Connor is a good comic with talent and ability. You should be honored that he devoted an entire sentence of praise within a lengthy review in his blog. There is no way I can take that away from you. Treasure it. Hold onto that sentence! Never let it go. Again, the nature of this page is just funny quotes I could find about me. I like Ryan, too, and won't bother dragging him into this. But all these reviews are from other people. I am sure you have improved since college. But sadly, this isn't the case. I saw you MCing at the DC Improv last summer. The line up was Caroline Rhea and another comic, if this can jog your memory. I remember the other comic commenting on your failed attempt at warming up the crowd, but I am sure this was an inside joke between you too. Then when you introduced Caroline Rhea, you actually stole jokes from other comics. I wish you had sent this email sooner so I could have remembered the exact lines you stole. I never stole a joke in my life. I know first heard them on various Comedy Central Specials. I don't think those comics would appreciate that. But, I am only an amateur comedian, maybe I am wrong again. Maybe profession comics, like yourself, do not mind when other professional comics steal their jokes and parts of their acts. Interesting to me that -- no matter how badly you say I did -- you think I am a "professional comic." Thanks for the compliment. I actually work a full time job in a totally unrelated field. Glad that (despite all you've said) you have the notion I am a professional. Maybe they take it as flattery and not uncreative stealing. I hope you remember that night. And I'm sure I just caught you on an off day. Don't remember THAT night, but remember the run. Caroline and Costaki were both great and we had fun. Recall some shows going better than others...but all in all it was really a treat. I hope someday you can experience what it is like to entertain 300 people and get paid for it. I do not know exactly what I was thinking when I write that email over two years ago, but perhaps it was a little rash to accuse you of fixing the contest. Although, it was rather odd that the organizer of the contest won. But I am sure your little rant about Jesus followed by awkward pauses while you consulted with the index card in your pocket to decide on what killer joke to follow up with won the unbias judges over. Take that accusation to the manager of the Improv and comic Ryan Conner, who were judges that night. I am sure they will disagree with you. I "organized" insofar as I scheduled the space for them. I am positive your act wasn't the abortion as I recall it to be and I am sure referring to you as "Just as funny as Cancer" would be less than accurate. "Just as funny as Cancer [sic]?" You sound original. Tell me, what is your take on relationships? I mean, from your web site's glowing reviews and lengthy Scheduled Appearances (in both DC and Chicago) how could these things be true? I'm sorry if I was a little to thorough, but if I am going to be put on your website I think should do my best. I want to represent myself appropriately to all the visitors. I think you have. And if you are keeping track of the number of hits on your website and wondering why there have been so many recently, it's because I am sending it to my friends to see how you can waste 4 years at $40k per year. So petty. So unfounded. So expected. Thanks for the traffic, though. Good luck in your stand up future I am sure your big break is right around the corner. I look forward to seeing you on your very own Comedy Central Special, but I wouldn't steal any other comedians' jokes. They'll get mad if you do it on national TV. Thanks for the advice. I look forward to getting a timeshare or low-interest credit card or gym membership from you (or whatever you do). Also, thanks for giving me a little something to do today instead of work. It's been fun. Sounds like you are making the most of $40k/year for four years. I look forward to your response, but I understand if it might take some time considering your comic talents are in such high demand. Thanks for being so understanding. Michael Goldberg I feel I should also add some backstory to all this. I have NO IDEA who Michael Goldberg is. I googled my own name and found it on his website, where he accused me of fixing the comedy contest (see /press.html and it is the 3rd quote from the top). Apparently, we both went to George Washington University and he is interested in comedy, but that is all I know about him. Don't remember his performance, don't remember his jokes (lucky for him, I'm sure), and don't know what he looks like. He, on the other hand, seems to be quite enamored with me. Also, Michael, I hate that you are making me do this (as I think pointing out writing errors is lame), but what you have done here is an affront to decent society. "Too" is the same as "also," "two" is a number, and "to" is a preposition. Perhaps those installments of $40k/year could have been better used on something more your speed; such as free weights or baseball cards. Know this: I will gladly post anything you want to say about me on this website (unedited, of course). You are free to respond as needed, though I gladly accept your silence as an admission of impropriety. David Angelo